Greetings my little friends!
I am Rocky Rajah!
The mystic who sees all there is to see!
Another year has come & gone!
Here are my predictions
For the Year 2025!
JANUARY 2026
In January 2025, a new dance craze called Jabberwocky will become popular all over the whole wide world!
This unique dance requires one to wear a paper bag on their head as they pole vault over their dancing partner while reciting various lines from Lewis Carroll's famous Jabberwocky poems!
FEBRUARY 2026
It's true! It's true! The band Spinal Tap established themselves as rock & roll pioneers!
Spinal Tap spent most of their rock & roll times while struggling with fame, the group's outlandish antics and tongue-in-cheek commentary on the rock world have cemented their status as legends in the rock & world.
The band's infectious humor and unforgettable moments, such as their infamous "11" guitar amps brings out the juice that knocks out the wild bangers at all of their shows!
At the band's last show, things got outta hand and by the time the show finished there was a horde of bald headed ding dongs running about naked in the auditorium.
MARCH 2026
During the month of March, Several Celebrity Chefs, blissfully unaware that the hip hop music craze has started to fade in popularity, they announced that the Celebrity Chefs will form a hip hop combo and attempt to tour the United States and Canada!
The Celebrity Chefs band will feature the unlikely musical talents of …
Mario Batali (cheese grater & tambourine),
Guy Fieri (turntable and loud shirt)
Top Chef star Tom Colicchio
(lead rapper aka "Big Bald Mutha")
During the band's first concert in Seattle, Washington, the group will be suddenly pelted by ripe coconuts by a group of strange monkeys!
APRIL 2026
All across the United States of America, in the early morning hours on April 1st, ears of genetically modified corn will come to life and begin staging hold-ups at various 7-11 stores.
These freakish crimes will suddenly come to an end when there is a sudden heat wave and the ears of corn will begin to explode into a massive mountain of popcorn.
Rumors continue as the Corn “balls” persist that this entire incident was the result of some bizarre secret experiments that were being held at several Popcorn factories.
MAY 2026
The craze for vinyl records will reach a new height as people far and wide begin purchasing vinyl albums with abandon. This will lead to folks wearing vinyl suits, driving vinyl cars and wearing vinyl socks. Happy Burger Boy will introduce the Vinyl Burger made of fake meat and served on two thin shards of vinyl!
A Sixties-like catch phrase of Plastic is a groovy thing! will become popular as those in the know find different ways to integrate vinyl into their lives.
This just in…Taylor Swift will release a cover version of Jefferson Airplane's Plastic Fantastic Lover that will feature chanting by Tibetan monks and an all-star Spanish Kazoo Orchestra!
JUNE 2026
Internationally funded food scientists will invent edible grass suitable for consumption by human beings! Touted as a way to end world hunger, many governments will adopt the slogan "Let Them Eat Grass!"
BOB DYLAN
With the recent success of his popular whiskey under his belt, Bob Dylan will seize the day and open Lawn Gone!, the world's first restaurant with a grass-based menu.
Lawn Gone suddenly closed down when Keith Richards, who was shooting a segment for his popular rock & roll talk show at Dylan's eatery, is suddenly run over in a bizarre lawn mower accident!
JULY 2025
Johnny Rotten
John Lydon aka Johnny Rotten, former lead singer of the notorious rock band, the Sex Pistols, will attempt one last publicity stunt by jumping off the London Bridge into a barrel of beer.
Things will go awry as Rotten fails to land in the barrel of beer and instead lands on a barge carrying 2 tons of horse dung.
This incident will lead to Rotten becoming a laughingstock in every pub in the UK and he eventually moves to Alaska where he will become a smelly recluse.
AUGUST 2026
America's Summer Of Snakes!
A mysterious thing took place where an elderly woman was standing in her backyard when a large snake fell out of the sky and landed on her head.
SEPTEMBER 2026
Steven Tyler (who many of you will remember as the former front man of the rock combo Aerosmith) will announce that for the last 10 years he has been living his life as a professional time traveler and that we will all will have the ability to travel through time in 2025!
Unfortunately, Tyler will not go into specifics about how this will come to pass. Instead, he will request that we all make a donation to his Time Travel For All Go Fund Me Page.
OCTOBER 2026
Beginning in October 2025, the American public will enthusiastically embrace the use of robots in their daily lives. One of the drawbacks of this new phenomenon is that many of these home robots will become overly attached to their human families and will experience severe anxiety when separated from their favorite humans.
Things will begin to get out of hand when all these household robots run amok on Halloween night. This will come to pass because the robots don’t recognize their human friends when they try to enter their houses dressed up in their Halloween costumes.
NOVEMBER 2026
Anson Williams
Jann Wenner, head honcho at the popular culture magazine of Rolling Stone, will insist that Anson Williams (former teen idol & cast member of the popular sitcom, Happy Days) be inducted in the Rock & Roll Hall in 2026. Upon hearing this news, hordes of rabid rock & roll fans will descend on the Hall while carrying torches in hand!
Larry "Wild Man" Fischer
After going into hiding for several weeks, Jann Wenner will agree to induct Larry Wild Man Fischer into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame instead.
DECEMBER 2026
Jim Morrison
After he was supposedly dead in Paris
Jim Morrison was recently discovered
living in a small hut in Antigua.
He spends his days drinking wine
& singing songs about sexual encounters!
Oh my!
My crystal ball is beginning to get cloudy
so I must go my little friends!
Until we will meet again in the future!
ROCK & ROLL IS A STATE OF MIND
From all of us here @ Mind Smoke Records
We wish you a very Happy New Year!